Why Sea Cucumbers Will Always Win Out Against Chess Sets

What if I were a chess set? What if I were a sea cucumber? It's a difficult decision.

If I were a chess set I would be made of many pieces moving against each other but also together. I would appear to be many but in fact be one, composed of many within a single system. I would be glamorous and intellectual and interesting. I would probably drive a Maserati. But it would be very strange to be made up of more than one body.

If I were a sea cucumber, I would be ugly, weird, and puke my guts out at the sight of predators. I would also not move much, live underwater and look like a cucumber. It would be solid. I would probably not be very interesting. But because of  my terrible ugliness the absurdity of my worth would be all the more glaring. I would have a terrible beauty.

If a chess set fought a sea cucumber, though. Now that is the question. The sea cucumber would undoubtedly win, but how exactly is a zennish sort of riddle well worth thinking on. 

I advise you all, contemplate these things as you fall asleep. Consider the ens of the chess set and the sea cucumber. What if you were?You will probably find it more interesting than facebook.